Fire
by HuddyFanForever10
Summary: After the fire durring the series finale, Cuddy comes back and trys to find closure. Wilson doesn't have cancer, and House doesn't survive the fire. AU HUDDY!READ AND REVIEW!
1. End

This fire has destroyed everything. He was in there, he even tried to get out. Wilson said that he was reaching towards the exit when the floor above him collapsed. When he called me last night that was the last thing I thought I would hear. Wilson's voice sounded off, like he had been crying. He explained that the police were absolutely sure that he was gone, saying how nobody could survive that. I hung up the phone. I didn't want to hear any more of it. I got dressed and dropped Rachel off at my moms, and drove to Princeton as fast as I could.

The whole way there I kept thinking that this somehow was my fault. Maybe if I wouldn't have left and just has given him another chance he would still be alive. This was my fault, and I know it. Nothing that anyone says is going to change my mind.

Finally after driving for nearly an hour I reached my old home. I had kept the house in Princeton, just in case I ever wanted to come back. When I walked in everything looked the same. I still had someone cleaning it every two weeks. I went to my closet and pulled out a change of cloths. A pair of simple jeans and one of his shirts. I smelled it, just like I remembered. I went to the bathroom and I looked awful. My eyes were bright red and my cheeks were stained with mascara. I quickly washed my face, and grabbed my keys. I called Wilson. He answered on the first ring. He sounded concerned.

" Cuddy? Are you okay?" He sounded afraid that I wasn't going to make it here. He probably thought I was still in New York.

" I'm as good as I could be right now. I'm at my old house. Where are you?" All I heard on the other end was silence.

" I'm at the place where it happened. " I thought by now he would either be at the hospital or at home.

" Where? Wilson, I want to be there." He cleared his throat.

" Cuddy, I don't think you should." Of course he was just trying to protect me, but this is something I want to do.

"Send me the address, I'll be there in a bit." I hung up.

I hopped in my car and just then Wilson sent me the address. The place wasn't far from my house, it was only a few blocks away. I drove as fast as I could, and got there in about 3 minutes. When I saw the building I gasped.

Everything was smoldering. A good majority of the building was still standing, but some of it had caved in. I saw Wilson and Foreman standing next to two people that I didn't recognize. I immediately parked my car and ran to the sight. Wilson embraced me in a hug and Foreman did soon after. I turned my gaze to Wilson, who was standing looking at the sight, his mind seemed to be focusing on something other than my return.

" Have they found anything of him yet?" My voice sounded shaky. I felt like I could cry at any moment. Wilson responded a few seconds later.

" Not yet. They said it could take a while." A single tear rolled down his cheek, he wiped it away quickly. I can't believe that they haven't found him yet. I mean, Wilson said he was right by the door.

I turned and walked a few feet back and sat on the curb trying to process everything from the past night. I still couldn't believe that he was gone. Some part of me kept thinking that maybe he got out, maybe he is laying somewhere. He still could be alive, people have been found days after a fire.

No matter what Wilson or anyone else has to say I know that this is my fault. Things from our past together caused it. We were always going at each others throats, secretly trying to hide our feelings from each other. This went on for almost 14 years, we wasted that long for nothing. If one of us would have had 20 seconds of courage maybe things would have ended differently. We could have been together, maybe even married by now. All of these regrets will haunt me forever. I can't ever confide in Wilson or anyone else, they wouldn't understand the situation from my point of view. My thoughts were interrupted by the sounds of yelling.

It was a male, it seemed to be coming from by the door. It sounded like House, I immediately stood up and walked back to Wilson. " We got some one here!" It was a firefighter, not House. There were many officers and firefighters rushing to the spot where the one was standing. They all knelt down, and they were all shaking their heads. They all stood up, and grabbed a stretcher. No, this can't be happening.

They lifted the body bag on to the stretcher and started walking it towards the ambulance. One firefighter remained at the spot where they found the body. He glanced at the ground and bent down to get something. He picked up a burnt cane. No, this isn't real.

I immediately stood up and looked again at the cane, I immediately recognized it as his. The tears came running down my cheeks with nothing holding them back now. Wilson came and hugged me. Life as I know it is over. I felt the most emotion I have ever felt at once, and it was all pushing down on me, it was unbearable.

Eventually after sitting down for a few minutes I was able to compose myself. Wilson talked to the EMT and they said they were 90% sure it was him, but they needed someone to identify him. Wilson said he would, but this is something that I needed to do.


	2. Dealing

Through that whole night, Wilson tried talking me out of it, but I kept arguing. Even when I got to the hospital, Wilson was still trying to talk me out of this. He said that I shouldn't remember him like that,but I felt as though I should do this. After me pressing him for a while he finally agreed.

I walked towards the morgue, where I was met by Dr. Jacobs. He seemed a little surprised to see me.

"Dr. Cuddy, long time no see. Only I wish we would have met under better circumstances." I shook my head in agreement.

" As you already know I want to see Dr. House. " He nodded and sighed.

" I know, Dr. Wilson already talked to me. We just did the autopsy. It was apparent that he died from smoke inhalation. He has almost no burns on him, only on his legs. But Dr. Cuddy, I need you to know what you are going to see." A tear fell from my eye, I wiped it away quickly.

" I know, but I need to see him one last time." He nodded, and lead me down the long hallway. He opened the door to the morgue and left me alone.

When I entered I saw him. He was laying on the table, all of his body covered by a white sheet, except for his head. I walked slowly towards the table, almost unable to stand it.

After what seemed like the longest walk of my life, I reached him. He looked older than I remembered, but it was the same face I have always loved. He finally looked peaceful, finally free of a lifetimes worth of disappointments. His face was expressionless. All of the scowls and sarcastic faces that had once been on that face, were all gone. He looked normal, but he was never always normal.

I ran my fingers through his hair. Even seeing him, I still don't feel like he is gone, he looks like he is asleep, like he could wake up at any moment. Finally I couldn't fight back the tears anymore, it was as if all of the emotion was spilling out. Through the sobs I started talking to him.

" House.. I am so sorry. This is all my fault, if I would have stayed, you would still be here. I will never forgive myself... you ...you were alone because of me. I'm sorry." I bent down and placed a kiss on his forehead. The tears were endless, they just kept coming.

I started to walk towards the door, but turned and had one last look. It was just too much, I walked out the doors, where I was met by Wilson. When he saw me crying he pulled me into a hug. It made me cry even harder. I broke away from him, and went to walk away the pain.

I walked a random path, but I think I was leading myself to the place I knew so well. His office.

Everything looked the same. He had the same things on his desk and the same chair that he sat in when I told him that I loved him. It seemed like that was so long ago, but it was only a little more than a year ago. I moved to his desk and sat down. There were opened case files and other random papers. Then something caught my eye. It was an envelope with my name in a familiar cursive writing. I grabbed it and tore it open. The letter was dated from yesterday.

Cuddy,

I knew you would come back. Wilson probably called you. If you are reading this it means I'm gone. I wish that I could have found you again. I thought about it so many times, but then I realized that I would be hurting you. You deserve a lot better than me, and you need to know that. I have always loved you, even when I was picking on you. Please even though it may seem impossible to move on, try. Rachel needs you to be happy, and you deserve to be happy. Always remember I am here, and I will always love you. Go to my apartment and in the top drawer of my night stand, there is something there for you.

Love Always,

House

I started to cry again. I grabbed a tissue off of the desk and picked up the letter and stood up, and walked back to my car. Wilson was waiting for me, he had red eyes too.

" I need to be alone Wilson. " He nodded and walked to his car. I got in mine and waited until he left, not wanting him to follow me. I started the car and drove away.

It took me only about 15 minutes to arrive at his apartment. I braced myself before getting out of the car. I lifted up the mat and pulled out the spare key. I put it in the lock and opened the door.

Inside it looked neat and tidy, like it always had. I went directly to the bedroom. The bed was unmade like it always had. I walked to the nightstand and opened the drawer. Inside there was another envelope. I grabbed it and tore it open.

Inside was a small note and a silver heart locket. I dumped it out from the envelope and it landed in my hand. I looked at the note, there was a single line on it.

Wear always

I opened the locket and there was a picture of him on the right and an engraving on the other.

Always in my heart

This brought tears to my eyes. I put it on and a small smile came to my face. With that I locked the apartment door and drove home, thinking about all of the memories I had with House, and I realized that I still and will always love him.


	3. Goodbye

It has been 3 days since the fire. Wilson and I have been planning the funeral and everything is finally ready. This has been hard, going through everything in his apartment. He surprisingly kept a lot of stuff, things that seem unimportant, but I know they mean something. For example, when I was going through his things I found a folded piece of paper, which I immediately recognized. It was a note that I had given him in college, when we had had our one night stand. I had woken up early and left for class, leaving him this note.

_Greg,_

_Last night was amazing, and I hope we can hang out again sometime. See you around campus!_

_Love, Lisa_

I can't believe he kept this. After that day, I was devastated that he hadn't called me again. I went on with life, until I met him 10 years later. I had enough of looking through memories, I needed a break. I took the note and left, not wanting to look back.

I went from his apartment back to my house. The funeral was to start in an hour. I started getting ready. I went to my closet and picked out a black dress. After I put it on, a memory came back to me. This was the dress that I was wearing to work one day, and where House kept making sarcastic comments to me all day, one stood out more than the others. It was the one he made towards the end of the day. As I was hurrying out of my office he said "_Well Dr. Cuddy, late for your second job?" _At the time I was mad, he had basically called me a hooker, but now it makes me laugh. Thinking of this made me start to cry again, I quickly wiped away the tears and left the house.

The funeral was even more crowded than I ever thought. There were many faces I knew, such as Chase, Cameron, and Foreman. There were also so many people I Didn't know. I spotted Wilson sitting in the front row, near an open casket.

Of course I knew that House would be here, but the thought never entered my mind. A line was filling past the casket, many had tears in their eyes while others showed no emotion. Wilson stood up when he saw me, and we joined the line. After about 5 minutes we reached the casket. He looked so different than when I seen him three days ago. He had a lot of makeup on, and there was so expression on his face. He looked normal, at peace, and this made me start to cry. He finally got what he wanted, no pain, but in exchange for that he caused even more pain in other peoples lives.

I moved past the casket quickly, and sat down in the first row. He was laying right in front of me. The first person to get up and talk was Wilson. He got up and walked to the podium, stopping to look at House on the way up. He cleared his throat and began.

" Greg House was my best friend for close to 30 years, and he was the best friend anyone wanted. He always would speak his mind, even if what he had to say wasn't exactly the nicest thing in the world. Just thinking about all of the times we shared brings a smile to my face, and it probably always will. Losing House is the toughest thing I have ever had to go through, I will never forget him, he has changed my life for the better. I wish I could thank him." He glanced down at House and smiled, but I saw the tears in his eyes. Wilson came and sat down next to me. Now it was my turn.

As I got up, I glanced at the casket. I looked away quickly, I almost losing my composure. I cleared my throat and began.

" Greg House was an amazing person. He was a great doctor and friend. I have known House for almost half of my life, we went to school together and thats where we met. From the time we met, I knew he was something special. He was always there to talk, even if you didn't want to talk. If you asked for advice he would be completely honest with you, he didn't just say what you wanted to hear. Greg and I also were together a few times, and each time something got between us, even though each time I thought and hoped that it would last forever. My biggest regret was not trying hard enough. I wish that I could go back in time and make it work. He is the love of my life, and he always will be. I will never forget Greg House, everything he has ever told me. " I walked away quickly and sat next to Wilson. I started crying again and he handed me a tissue. I nodded in thanks.

The rest of the service went by in a blur. I wasn't even paying attention. I just kept looking at him, and thinking about all of the memories we had together. From parties in college to me yelling at him when he did something stupid. And then there were other moments, such as our first kiss, the kiss we shared after I had lost the baby I was going to adopt, and then finally the best memory of all. After the crane collapse, going to his apartment. Saving him from going back to the drugs, and then admitting that I loved him. The only times I had seen him truly happy was when we were together. He always seemed to be happy, no matter what was going on around us. Those were the memories that I would miss.

My daydreaming was interrupted by someone walking in front of me. It was the minister, he walked to the casket, and said a quick prayer. I knew what was coming next, they were going to close the casket. I took one last glance, even though I had been looking the entire time. The minister closed the casket and went back to the podium. He said a few more words and then it was over.

Next was the burial. It was a private one, only members of the former and present team, Wilson, Foreman and myself. It was quiet, peaceful. I grabbed a handful of dirt and through it in the grave. This was it, I would never see him again, he's gone forever.


	4. Possibilities

**Things have not gotten any easier. Everywhere I look I think of him. From the sound of a piano playing to the sarcastic comment.**

**After the funeral I moved back to Princeton. I was offered my old job back, and I took it. Being back here has helped a bit, I get to see and talk to Wilson and it had helped me grieve. Being back here has also not helped. I pass by his office almost everyday and everytime I do I keep thinking that I will see him sitting at his desk. It has been almost 5 months since he left. **

**As I was walking past, I noticed that nobody was in the office or connecting I was walking past, I noticed that nobody was in the office or connecting room, so I decided to go in. Everything looks the same, all of his books, his PSP, and all of his thinking toys. I took a seat in his desk, and took a deep breath. I closed my eyes and just started to think. This is the place where I yelled at him countless times, where I first introduced him to Rachel, where I first said I love you, and now there is no evidence of those memories. The only proof is in my mind, and some day those memories will fade, and I wont be able to remember everything. I started to cry, and it was like the tears were just memories, every tear felt like a memory, just flowing out. I grabbed a tissue off of his desk and wiped away the tears. I still had the same thought on my mind since the day he died. **

**Even though people will think its stupid, I still feel like this is my fault. If I would have given him another chance maybe he would still be here. We could have been married my now, maybe we could have even had a child together. Now all of that is gone, and it is never a possibility.**

**People say that when you lose someone, time is the only thing that helps you heal, but ever since that day, time has made the wounds deeper. Everything reminds me of him in some way. Wilson has been trying to help, but no matter what he says it can't fix me.**

**Since that day, I have been thinking about just ending it. No more pain, no more suffering. The only thing that is keeping me here is Rachel. She needs me, but I can't be here for her when I am in constant pain. I have barely seen her these last few weeks, not wanting her to see me cry. She has mostly been with the nanny or Wilson. I know he is capable of taking care of her. **

**This thought hasn't gone away through these last few months, and it is a possibility. The pain is just too much. **


	5. A Lifetime's Worth of Disapointments

** Okay this is the second to last chapter! I hope you like the ending! I worked hard to make it what it is! READ AND REVIEW GUYS!**

The more I think of ending it, the more it seems to be the better choice. I already have Rachel taken care of, I made a will when I adopted her. She is young, only three months , so in a decade she won't remember me. Wilson will have to tell her about me. I have already written her a letter for when she is older, it explains my choice and tells her that I will always love her.

Wilson will probably be upset, but he will understand why, I have already written the letter to Wilson, expressing my pain. I will mail that letter and Rachel's to Wilson, hopefully nothing happens to them.

The reality that I am taking my own life hasn't really dawned on me. I know that once I start I will only have a few seconds to turn back, but surprisingly I am not afraid. Death has never scared me, I have been around it everyday for the past 20 years. The only things that I am afraid of is what I will miss, what things that I wont be able to experience again.

There are so many ways, and this has got me thinking, I don't want to feel pain,I want to go easy. Thats when it hit me, vicodin. He died stoned on Vicodin, unable to feel pain, in some way this will bring me closer. I asked Wilson earlier today if he could watch Rachel for me tonight, he said yes without hesitation.

I feel like this is what was meant to happen, like we were never meant to get together. Maybe fate had it out for us since the beginning. We tried to make it work every single time, but each time had resulted in failure. Now we would never get another chance, we could never make it work again. The pills are my way of getting back to him, and I know just where to find them.

I never thought that I would ever find myself back in this apartment, it seemed so foreign to me.

Everything was the way I had left it, there were papers and photographs laying all over the floor, some were even covered in dust. I looked away, and made my way to the bathroom, and opened up the medicine cabinet. There they were, the name "Vicodin" was typed clearly on the label, I picked them up, and that is when a piece of notebook paper caught my attention. It had been under the bottle of pills, I picked it up and unfolded it.

_Dear Cuddy,_

_I knew that one day you would come here to look for these. I know you, and I know that when you feel guilty you can never let it go. My death was not your fault, and there is nothing you could have done to prevent it. I took my life because I didn't deserve to live, I was the most awful person on Earth. You are one of the greatest people on Earth, you need to live on and do more great things. If you really don't feel you can go on, I understand, but please think about it. _

_Love, Greg_

He knew that I would not be able to take it anymore, and yet he still ended his life, knowing that my life would also be lost. I took the note with me and made my way back to the living room. I sat within the mess of documents and photos. I looked up at the coffee table, where there was a familiar picture. It was of a young man with dark hair, and ocean blue eyes, dancing with a young woman with dark curls. The memory came back to me instantly.

_It was a hot summer evening, two days before graduation. It was just a random house party off campus. The dark haired woman watched as the familiar man with the ocean blue eyes approached her._

" _Do you want to dance Lisa?" She nodded and he took her hand and lead her to the dance floor. They started to slow dance. _

" _I love you so much Lisa Cuddy." The woman let out a giggle, and her eyes lit up._

" _I love you to Greg House." They kissed, and unknown to them at that moment, a newly graduated Oncologist snapped a photo. _

I remember this night well. House and I had been dating exactly a year, and we were celebrating our anniversary. We were both so happy, not a care in the world to worry about. It brought tears to my eyes, we could never hold each other again. I popped the top off the bottle and dumped the contents into my mouth. I swallowed and noticed that over half the bottle was gone, more than enough to overdose. It would only be a few minutes until they hit my bloodstream, then this would all be over. I took the photo and walked to his bedroom and laid on the bed.

As time went on I began slipping in and out of consciousness. When I opened my eyes I saw him standing by the bedroom door, with a concerned look on his face. His eyes moved from me to the half empty bottle of pills in my hand. He came in and walked towards me, and surprisingly no limp. He stopped a few yards away and took a deep breath.

" Cuddy, don't take the rest, if we go now I can still save you." I must be imagining this, but it seemed like he was really there.

" Don't you understand? I want to die, I need to be with you House." He started to cry, which was totally unlike him.

" Cuddy, please. I love you, I don't want you to leave me. Please stay and get the help you need to move on. " He couldn't help me, no one could.

" No, I need to do this." I reached up to touch his face, which was smooth, not rough like it normally was. I then moved back to my spot on the floor and took the pills. House launched himself towards me but I already had them in my mouth, I swallowed. Now it was almost over, only a little time left. House moved to the bed and wrapped his arms around me and held me. I could now feel the life draining out of me. I closed my eyes, and a few seconds later I felt what I wanted to accomplish, nothing.

There was white everywhere, and everything was that boring color. There was a single white bench, and there he was, just sitting there, like nothing was wrong. I walked towards him_(beep). _ I sat down on the bench next to him, and he wrapped his arm around me, it felt like he never left. His icy blue eyes met mine, and he sighed.

"Now you have a choice Lisa, you can either go back or stay here with me." I knew my answer immediately_. (beep)_

" I'm going to stay here with you." He let out another sigh.

" Lisa, please, Rachel and Wilson both need you. Just because I couldn't go on doesn't mean you have to give up your amazing life. Lisa, I have never left you, I have been here with you the whole time, and I always _(beep) _will be. Please, go on and save many more people, do what I can no longer do." Maybe he was right, maybe if I get help and keep going on with my life, but it might be too late.

" I don't want to be away from you. I love you so much." He smiled.

" I know, and I love you too. I'll never leave you Lisa. Whenever you look around me I will be there in some way." He leaned forward and kissed me, it was a long passionate kiss, _(beep). _I knew that this would be the last kiss I would experience for a long time. After what seemed like only seconds he leaned away _(beep)._ I stood up and took his hand. He kissed my hand, and I smiled. As I walked away I let his hand go, but before I left I turned and took one final glance, he smiled and did a childish wave. I waved back, and thats when my eyes fluttered open.

When I opened my eyes I immediately recognised one of the rooms at PPTH, I turned my head to the right and saw Wilson sitting in a chair, asleep. Wow, I survived, and I saw House, he looked so real,like he had really been there. There is no way that it really was him, he has been dead for almost three months. I wonder how I got here, I am assuming Wilson, but how did he know I was going to end it, it was like someone told him. Soon I felt a hand on my shoulder, I turned to see Wilson leaning on my bed. He sighed.

" Why did you do this Lisa?" I knew the answer, but I don't know if I should tell him everything.

" I didn't want to go on without him." I started to cry, this was just too much. He stood up from the chair and started pacing the room, he looked scared and frustrated.

" Lisa, why didn't you just come and talk to me? I could have helped you, when I found you yesterday I was so afraid that you were not going to make it." That brought up another question.

" How did you know I was going to do it?" There was no way he could have known I was going to do it at that moment. He stopped pacing and looked at me. He walked towards the bed and sat back down.

" When you asked me to watch Rachel I knew something was up. I knew you wouldn't go on a date so soon after House and after you left I checked your planner, you didn't have anything scheduled. So, I searched around town, and when I saw your car parked outside his apartment building I got worried. And thats when I found you. I was so afraid, and you were so out of it. You kept calling me House." After he said that I stopped listening. He said I called him House, but I saw House, or was it really Wilson?

" Wait, what are you talking about? I never talked to you, I was talking to House, I saw him, he looked so real." He sighed, and looked at me with a confused expression.

" What do you mean? I talked to you remember?" I don't remember, I closed my eyes and just tried to bring back the memories from that night.

_When I opened my eyes I saw him standing by the bedroom door, with a concerned look on his face. His eyes moved from me to the half empty bottle of pills in my hand. He came in and walked towards me, and surprisingly no limp. He stopped a few yards away and took a deep breath._

" _Cuddy, don't take the rest, if we go now I can still save you." I must be imagining this, but it seemed like he was really there. _

" _Don't you understand? I want to die, I need to be with you House." He started to cry, which was totally unlike him._

" _Cuddy, please. I love you, I don't want you to leave me. Please stay and get the help you need to move on. " He couldn't help me, no one could._

" _No, I need to do this." I reached up to touch his face, which was smooth, not rough like it normally was. I then sat up on the bed and emptied the remaining pills into my mouth. . House launched himself towards me, but suddenly he wasn't House anymore, it was Wilson. He tried to get them away from me but I already had them in my mouth, I swallowed. Now it was almost over, only a little time left. Now instead of him holding me out of love, he was holding me and crying, and now I remember the sounds of sirens in the background._

So House was never there, only Wilson? That didn't make sense. He told me that he loved me. I sat up in bed and looked at him.

" So, wait, if House wasn't there, why did you tell me you loved me?" He stared at me for a few seconds.

" Cuddy, I did that for two reasons, one, I love you as a friend, and we have known each other since college, and I also did it because you called me House. I thought that if maybe you thought I was House you wouldn't do it. " His reasons made sense, but still weird. I just couldn't believe that I imagined Wilson as House.

" I just can't believe that it was you." But the signs were there, he had no limp, and his face was smooth. Both of those things describe Wilson not House. I should have known that. Wilson took my hand and smiled.

" I'm going to help you get better, and I will always be here for you," he looked at my neck and noticed the locket. A puzzled look came over his face, "Wait, I know I have seen this before. Oh my god, this was the I helped House pick out about a month ago, he said it was for his mom's birthday"

"Yeah, I found it at his place, with a note, telling me to always wear it, I don't know why." Wilson laughed.

" Maybe he thought it would help you move on" I smiled.

" Yeah. Can I be alone for a bit Wilson? I think I am going to sleep." He nodded and kissed me on the forehead. He walked out of the room, and I just sat in the bed thinking.

I think I know why I saw House, and even in the dream. Maybe I was subconsciously telling myself that I could move on. Maybe I knew it the whole time, and just ignored it and decided to take the easy way out. Now I can finally start living again.


	6. Answers

**5 months later**

**Things have gotten easier. I feel alive again. After the attempt I tried to start over, but it was hard, because Wilson told me he was dying of cancer. I couldn't bear the thought of losing another friend, but I understood his choice. Treatment would only give him a couple good months, and it wasn't worth all of the pain. I told him I would be there for him through it all. He lost the battle three days ago, as I held his hand through his last minutes he said he needed to make a confession. Thinking back brought back the shock of the news. 0**

** " ****_He's alive Lisa." I felt a confused look come over my face._**

**" ****_Wilson, who is alive?" He coughed, and cleared his throat._**

** " ****_House, he.. he's alive Lisa, I saw him." This was crazy, theres no way he's alive._**

** " ****_Wilson, he can't be, I saw him laying in his casket at his funeral, you must be hallucinating." Some part of me wanted to believe him, the other part thought he was insane. He sighed and rolled his eyes._**

**" ****_I know it sounds crazy Lisa, but right after your incident I came home and found him sitting on my couch. He said he faked his death so he wouldn't have to go back to jail. He said he hated what he had done to you and me, and he said he wishes that you and him could get back together, he wants you back." This was insane, I saw him laying in a coffin almost a year ago, he can't be alive. Wilson cleared his throat again, " Lisa, he said he would be at my funeral, and if you don't find him he said he is leaving and not coming back. You need to find him, promise me." I started to cry._**

** " ****_I promise, " I leaned down and placed a kiss on his forehead, and he closed his eyes. I felt the firm grip on my hand fade away, he was gone. _**

**That was three days ago, and the funeral is today. I don't really know if Wilson really saw him or not, but I need to know. This might be my only chance to tell him how I feel before he is lost for good. **

**When I arrived at the funeral I was greeted by everyone from my past. All of the old and present team members and other doctors from the hospital. This was the same place where House's funeral was, almost a year ago. I needed to find him, I needed answers.**

**I made my way to the entrance, where there was a crowd of people. I gazed around the crowd, searching for that familiar face, but nothing, he just wasn't there. I took a seat in the back row, that way I could see everyone who walked in or out. Many people filed past the casket, but none stood out. I wonder if I am the only person Wilson told about House not being dead, I mean surely Chase or even House's own mother had the right to know. This was just too much to wrap my head around. My thought process was interrupted by the sight of a familiar face. **

**He was older, and more grey, but I definitely knew it was him. He came in and sat directly in front of me. He had no cane, but I knew it was him. Oh my god, he was alive! After this whole time, he has always been here. Through the whole funeral thats all I could think about, I was anxious to talk to him.**

**The funeral was short, thank god. As soon as everyone got up to leave I looked in front of me, and he was gone. No, I just found him, he can't be gone. I stood up and walked outside, where there were so many people, there was no way I would see him. **

**I turned to my left to see a man in a grey trench coat walking away, with a slight limp. I ran to him and when I turned a corner he was standing there, like he was waiting for me. He had a smile on his face.**

** " ****Hello Cuddy." Thats all he could say? After all that I have been through?**

** " ****I can't believe it, you're alive." I reached to hug him, which he embraced surprisingly. It felt good to be holding him again.**

** " ****I missed you so much Cuddy, but can we talk somewhere else? Like your place? I don't want to be seen." I broke away from him, almost not wanting to let go.**

** " ****Yeah, meet me at my place." He nodded and turned and walked away. I ran to my car and drove home as fast as I could. **

**When I got home I didn't see him. I walked inside and there he was, sitting on my couch. **

** " ****How did you get in?" He looked at me and laughed.**

** " ****Cuddy, we used to go out, I know where your spare key is." I have never changed the hiding place of the key, I guess I never thought about it. I sat down next to him on the couch.**

** " ****I have a billion questions." He laughed.**

** "****I will answer any question you ask." I nodded. There were so many things that I wanted to know, I didn't know where to start. **

** " ****I know why you faked your death, but how did you pull it off?" Hr sighed.**

** " ****This is a long answer, when I was in that building I thought about just letting myself die. But I decided that if I faked my death, I wouldn't have to deal with all of legal issues any more. I started to walk towards the exit, and I waited until I knew the beam would fall, and I fell with it. I just got up after and walked out." This was very well executed.**

**" ****Where did you go after?" **

**" ****After I got out, I just stayed there for a while. I watched as the crowd grew, and I mostly watched Wilson. I knew that if he thought I was dead, then I succeeded. When I saw how upset everyone was I actually considered not going through with the plan, but it needed to be done. I went to the hospital and switched my dental records with the other guy who was in the building with me. Then I went home to get a few things, and to leave a few things." He gestured to the necklace on my neck. **

**" ****Yeah, I love it, thank you, but that isn't the only thing I found." He sighed.**

**" ****Oh yeah, the pills. I just thought I would give you a way out. " He grabbed my hand. **

**" ****It's alright, it was my choice. I do have a question about that though. Were you really there?" He smiled.**

**" ****Yes and no. I was always around since I "died". I was always watching either you or Wilson. I was there through every breakdown, and every smile. The hardest part was seeing you in pain, and wanting to take your own life. I almost couldn't take it. When you went to my apartment I knew what you were going to do. I was waiting until you took some so you would think I wasn't real. " I interrupted.**

**" ****Wait, Wilson said he was there, not you." He sighed and rolled his eyes.  
**** " ****I'm getting there! Anyway, I tried to talk you out of it, but you took the rest, I called an ambulance and while I waited I just held you. I didn't know what to do. I kissed you one last time and left, and went to Wilson's. I told him what happened and what I have told you now, and he agreed to lie. I told him I would one day meet you and that everything will be okay. " There was just a few more answers I needed."' **

**" ****I saw you in the morgue and in a coffin, was that really you?" He squeezed my hand even harder. **

**" ****Yes and no. In the morgue I bribed the stupid doctor, and in the funeral home I had a plaster cast of my head done." Wow, he had really thought this whole thing out. **

**" ****When Wilson told me that it was him I saw, I remembered seeing Wilson, not you. How do you explain that?" He smiled.**

**" ****When Wilson said that I wasn't' there your subconscious believed it. You knew that because I was dead it was impossible, so naturally you believed Wilson." It made some sense. Now I only have one more question. **

**" ****Wilson said that you wanted me to forgive you, and that you still loved me. Is that true?" He didn't speak, but then all of a sudden he let out a laugh.**

**" ****Cuddy, I couldn't stop loving you if I tried." I smiled.**

**" ****When I thought you were dead, I regretted everything that I ever said and done to Wilson told me you were alive I thought it was too good to be true. It was like the universe was giving me a 100th chance or something. After I tried to kill myself, everyone thought that it was a rumor, that I could never do that, but I could. You knew that when no one else did. You are the person who I am supposed to spend the rest of my life with, it's clear now, I love you." He cupped my face in his hands and kissed me. It felt almost foreign to me, after not having this for almost two years. After my attempt, and after dealing with everything I thought I had my life back, but now I realize, my life was incomplete without him. **


	7. Starting Over

**Okay, so my plan with this story is to make it from the POV of Cuddy, which will kind of make it go with my season 9 I am currently writing. I hope you guys like this, sorry it has been a while. READ AND REVIEW GUYS! :)**

He's back. It is so hard to believe that the love of my life is back, but there is a flaw, I am the only one who knows. He can't come back, he can never be a doctor again. He doesn't exist anymore, he is a nobody. There is no way he can stay in Princeton, according to him, but I have found a way.

I contacted a lawyer who says that he can make sure that House receives almost no charges, the only one being resisting arrest, which only carries a max of 30 days in jail, and after that he can get his death ruled out, and get his med licence back. It is all perfect, House just needs to agree to it.

Ever since Wilson's funeral House has been staying with me, it has been almost a week, and I have started back at PPTH, as dean, since Foreman resigned, and is now on the Diagnostic team, once again. So all I have to do is convince House to see a lawyer and he has his life back. He was sitting on the couch when I got home, watching TV with Rachel. I sat down on the couch next to him and smiled.

" I found a lawyer. He can get you almost no jail time, and your license back! We have a meeting tomorrow at noon. " He looked really surprised, but it looked like mixed emotions.

" It's going to be weird not just sitting around all day."  
" So, you'll do it?" He smiled.

" How can I say no? I miss the puzzles!" I laughed and gave him a hug and a kiss. Now, we only have to survive the meeting.

{H}{H}{H}{H}H{H}{H}{H}H{H}{H}{H}{H}{H}{H}{H}{H}{H}{H}{H}{H}{H}{H}{H}{H}{H}{H}{H}

I am so nervous sitting here. The lawyer is sitting across from House and I, and also there is the DA. The DA cleared his throat.

" We have came to a deal, we have dropped all of the charges, if Mr. House agrees to the following: First, you must not violate propation for one year; you may also not leave the country for a year; and finally Dr. House must be employed at PPTH, and be supervised by Dr. Lisa Cuddy. Any violation of these agreements will result in Dr. Gregory House being incarcerated for 3 years for the pending charges. Dr. House, do you accept?" I looked at House, who then reached for the forms and the pen.

" Sold." He signed the papers and was then handed his med licence back and his papers back. We shook hands with the lawyer and walked out. I stoped him on the steps.

" Dr. House, I expect you at work at 7 am tomorrow." He looked scared.

" Not going to happen, I was thinking like 11 since it is my first day mommy." I sighed and smiled.

" I own your ass now, at work and at home." He laughed.

" I was hoping you would say that." He kissed me, and we went home. I was feeling like everything was in place for the first time in over 2 years.


	8. Best Yet

**Normally when an alarm goes off at 6:30 in the morning I would be hitting snooze, but today I was ready to embrace the morning. I moved to shut the alarm off and then layed back down to find a awake House, which was surprising.**

**" ****Wow, you're up early, for you anyway." I placed a kiss on his lips.**

**" ****I guess I'm just nervous, I mean seeing everyone again, Chase isn't going to be happy." I had already taken care of that.**

**" ****I just told Chase that we have a new department head, and he was willing to hand it over, but Park quit, so now you only have Chase and Adam's on your team." He sighed.**

**" ****Great, I have to hire a new team, again." He was in for a big surprise.**

**" ****They always say the second time is the easiest." He nodded.**

**" ****Well, we better get ready." He got out of bed and hopped into the shower. I got up and got dressed and did my hair and makeup, but my mind was somewhere else. House doesn't need to hire a new team, I have already taken care of that. The diagnostic budget has increased almost 35%, which means more team members. So I have created the best team yet consisting of Chase, Adams, Cameron, Forman, Taub, and Thirteen. The only thing that could go wrong would be all of them finding out, see Chase and Cameron don't know the others going to be there, the same goes for Foreman and Thirteen, but they have all signed one year contracts, which there is no way to get out, so they are stuck for at least a year. **

**House and I were all ready within half an hour. As soon as the nanny arrived we left. **

**When we walked into the hospital there were a lot of stares. No one knows besides me and Wilson that House is alive, so everyone thinks that he is dead. This day should be fun. I can't wait to see the look on House's face when he see's his new team. They have all already been here for half an hour, so they wouldn't know about House. **

**When the elevator stopped I took a breath, and took House's hand. When we walked into the diagnostic office I saw six horrified faces, Cameron and Chase looks surprised, Foreman and Taub had no expression, and Thirteen and Adams looked like they could pass out. House looked even more surprised. He turned to me.**

**" ****I thought you said I only have two team members?" I laughed.**

**" ****The Diagnostic budget increased by 35%, so you can have two more team members, so I built you the best team yet." He smiled, and gave me a kiss. I could hear a few gasps and giggles.**

**" ****So, you guys are back together?" The familiar voice of Thirteen interrupted. House broke away from me.**

**" ****You bet, but why aren't you guys asking about I don't know.. why I'm not dead?" I laughed, then Cameron spoke up.**

**" ****How did you do it?" House sighed.**

**" ****Well since you asked," he took the seat at the head of the table, and I took a seat at the other end of the table, " After the accident with the MRI I was facing almost a year in jail, in which Wilson wouldn't be able to wait that long, so I faked my death. There was another guy in the building with me, so I just switched our dental records, and I just became no one, but then she happened," he pointed at me, '' and found me a lawyer, and now I'm back, but I am on probation." I looked around, everyone had just sad expressions on their faces, sad mixed with disbelief. **

**" ****That's quite a story, happy to have you back." Chase said, and he patted House on the back. I stood up.**

**" ****Well how do you like your team?" **

**" ****You got the best of the best. This should be the best team yet, can't wait to try this out on a case. " I laughed. **

** " ****Well there is a huge pile waiting downstairs, shall we go see?" He nodded and stood up. He took my hand and we ended up in my office. He embraced me, and started kissing me more forcibly. I knew where this was going, but I don't know if I wanted it to stop.**

** " ****House,... not here.. we are at work." He sighed, but kept going.**

** " ****I already locked the door Cuddles." Well why not.**

** " ****Fine." He started taking his clothes off and started unbuttoning my shirt. **

**After our encounter we found ourselves dressing in a hurry, otherwise the team would be wondering what happened to him.**

** " ****I will see you later Cuddles." He gave me a peck on the cheek.**

** " ****House, you can't call me that at work!" He laughed.**

** " ****I think it's funny Cuddles. " He laughed and walked out of my office.**

**Okay, maybe it was funny, maybe even a little cute. I will have to think of a name for him now...**


End file.
